According to the money.CNN.com, the average cost to raise a child in the United States is $245,920 (and as high as $455,00 in the urban Northeast). This does not include the price of college. If you want all of CNN’s the brutal facts, click here.
When I was pregnant with our son, The Grazer, I was too excited about starting a family to truly consider the financial implications. I had a vague understanding that kids cost a lot, but in the beginning it felt pretty manageable. And then our daughter, The Well-Adjusted Eater, was born and reality started to set in. As a toddler, she had immediate fashion and decorating sense. She wore ruffled skirts that twirled and jewelry that sparkled. She adorned her room with many, many stuffed animals.
Fast-forward fifteen years: big kids = big money.
Did CNN include multiple weekly trips to Mama’s Pizza, last-minute snow-tubing tickets, and got-to-have-it concert tickets in the calculation? Lulu Lemon? Vineyard Vines? No longer can a hundred dollars purchase enough presents to fill-in around the Christmas tree. I’d be lucky to buy half an iPod. And now everybody has a phone with a phone bill. Soon The Grazer will be driving and he’ll need gas money and insurance.
The real-kid-raising amount feels closer to a million dollars!
Who has an extra million sitting around?
The kids argue, Everybody’s doing it—we must, too!
About two years ago, my husband and I were stuck dangerously in this money-sucking parent trap.
The buck had to stop. Literally. Here. Otherwise—these kids were going to send us to the poorhouse. And we surely weren’t teaching them about the value of a dollar and hard work.
So, we implemented a chores-for-cash deal.
That’s right, an allowance.
Wow, we’re going to get paid! They said excitedly.
In exchange for basic chores like feeding the cats, taking out the trash and recycling, making beds, setting the table, cleaning up after dinner, and keeping the mudroom tidy, each child receives twenty-five dollars per week. We still pay for all of their necessities and special family events, but if they want to go the movies, out to eat, or rock-climbing, whatever, they need to budget for it and pay their own way. And if they don’t complete all of their chores, they’re docked a few dollars. Click here for an allowance calculator.
Over time, their money personalities have emerged: Our son, The Grazer is also The Saver. The Grazer-Saver likes money so much that he’s started three businesses in the last year: grass-cutting, snow-shoveling, and one-on-one soccer tutoring. He also worked at my sister’s Christmas tree stand this past holiday season for extra moola. The Grazer-Saver bought a safe in which to store his money. The even better news is: he’s paying for his social life!
Our daughter, The Well Adjusted Eater, (not surprisingly) is a Spender. Money burns a hole in her pocket. And watch out if there’s a Marley Lilly flash sale online. She’s mastered how to take an advance against allowance-to-be-earned and has found herself in debt more than once and begging for a reset. We’ve heard, “It’s not fair. Why do we have to learn about the real world now?” (Occasionally, I cave and we go on a little shopping spree). But I think things are starting to sink in. After having to say no to a movie with friends because she was broke, The Well Adjuster Spender booked her first babysitting job. There’s hope!
This is another reason to have Sunday Dinner a home: it’s less expensive than going out. And I’d argue, it tastes better!
Thoughtful Food: Whiteout Lasagna & Sautéed Rosemary Broccoli
Lasagna at my table is tough because The Split Personality Eater and The Grazer do not like red sauce, but it’s The Well Adjusted Eater’s favorite meal. To make everybody happy, I concocted a creamy white-turkey sausage alternative. It’s not low fat, but boy is it yummy! And it’s super easy to put together—a good make-ahead dish and pop in the oven an hour before dinner.
Whiteout Lasagna Ingredients & Instructions (in 4 parts):
Part 1 – For the meat filling:
2 lb turkey sausage, cut into 1-inch pieces
2 Tbsp olive oil
1 yellow onion, diced
1 Tbsp chopped garlic
8 oz Portobello mushrooms, chopped into tiny pieces
2 cups fresh spinach, chopped
1 Tbsp Italian Seasonings
1 tsp red pepper flakes
In a large pan, add olive oil, garlic, and onion. Sautee until garlic becomes fragrant. Add sausage, Italian seasoning and red pepper flakes. As sausage cooks, mash it up and pick out any casings; cook approximately ten minutes until browned. Add mushrooms and cook five minutes. Add chopped spinach and cook about one minute until wilted. Remove from heat and set aside.
Part 2 – For the cheese filling:
2 cups ricotta cheese
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
1 cup grated Parmesan cheese
½ cup fresh parsley, chopped
Mix all ingredients together in a mixing bowl.
Part 3 – The White Sauce (I made this last – immediately before putting it all together)
6 Tbsp butter
3 Tbsp flour
3 cup whole milk
½ cup Parmesan Cheese
Melt butter over med-low heat. Add flour. Stir until thickened. Slowly whisk milk into the pan. Finally, add Parmesan and mix thoroughly.
Part 4 – Putting it all together!
1 box (8oz) oven ready lasagna noodles, split into three parts
¾ cup sun-dried tomatoes, cut julienne
2 large balls of fresh mozzarella cut into discs
1 large tomatoes, sliced
½ cup shredded mozzarella
1/8 cup fresh parsley, chopped
dash of Italian Seasoning
Use a 9×13-baking dish. Pour a 1/3 of the white sauce into dish and spread evenly. Cover with 1/3 of noodles. Then spread ½ of cheese mixture and then ½ meat mixture on top of the noodles. Add ½ of dun-dried tomatoes. Cover with 1/3 of white sauce. Do another layer of noodle, cheese, and meat. Top with the rest of the noodles, cover with remaining white sauce. Garnish with slices of fresh tomatoe, mozzarella discs, parsley, shredded mozzarella, and Italian seasonings. Waalaa! A perfect lasagna everybody will eat!
Sautéed Rosemary Broccoli
1 head broccoli (or more as it’s a healthy snack for later in the week)
3 tbsp olive oil
2 tsp fresh rosemary, finely chopped
1 tsp chopped garlic
¼ tsp red pepper flakes
¼ cup Parmesan cheese, grated
Cut broccoli into small pieces. Blanch in boiling water for four minutes. Over medium heat, cook olive oil, rosemary, garlic, and pepper flakes until garlic is fragrant. Add broccoli and cook for about 15 minutes until stems begin to soften. Toss in Parmesan cheese, stir to coat. Serve.
Thought For The Week:
Money . . . those who don’t have enough of it are only aware of what it can buy them. When you finally have enough of it you become aware—acutely aware—of all the things it can’t buy . . . the really important things . . . like youth, health, love, peace of mind.
Paul Wilson, The Tomb
Do you think kids should have an allowance?
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My novel, What The Valley Knows, is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Black Rose Writing. Click HERE to read the first three chapters for FREE!
xoxo,
Heather
“A taut, compelling family tale.”
Kirkus Reviews
It’s great that you’re teaching the children the value of money
Such an honest and true post. When my children were adolescents, I also worked full time. They and I shared cooking night assignments.. it was framed as a job…to be taken seriously for which they earned their allowance in addition to other chores. Both learned to cook and manage the gathering of ingredients, etc. It’s paid off as adults and worked really well for Marv and me. PS Marv did his fair share by cleaning up!
Thanks for sharing, Faye!
Awesome lessons… We also instilled this in out three children and they have grown into remarkable parents whom all own their homes . Happy Easter
Thanks for sharing, Mary!
Hi Heather. Great post. So important to teach not only the value of money but also, in my view, the importance of being a contributing member of the household. Everyone pitches in. We’ve done the allowance route in a few varieties but sometimes motivation wanes when they have a stack of cash and don’t “need” the paycheck (especially when they have very few payouts). We are now at the point where they either have jobs or have saved enough to pay for the little they do BUT the chore responsibility persists. Sometimes it takes some nagging but they know that that’s what it means to be part of a family–everyone does their share. BTW–scary numbers, huh? I have two kids and one is far higher than the 455K while one is way below the 245K. All equals out in the wash, right?
Yes, I think it’s important that the kids start to understand that things cost money and that money doesn’t grow on trees!
Good for you Heather! At one time this was the norm, instilling a work ethic and responsibility in our children. I can’t understand why that has gone by the wayside and parents choose not to do that. I think our greatest responsibility as a parent is to raise our children to be responsible, productive adults for our society. I am glad to hear you are a good teacher. I hope many others read your blog and understand how important it is for them to do what you are doing.
Thanks for the words of support! Sometimes it’s so hard to know if I’m doing the right thing.